I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
