based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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