there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
