A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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