i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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