I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
