I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
