ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
