okay pat passed out under dana's car
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
