I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
