We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
