Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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