pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
