is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
