btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
