you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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