The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
