you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
