I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
