Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
