I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
