I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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