from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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