somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm at about main and main street
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
