I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
