Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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