idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
