Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
