these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
