Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
