Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How's work?
Spinning.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
