beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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