let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
