So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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