your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
