I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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