she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
