yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
