those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
