To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
