I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
