I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
