I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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