She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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