You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
