I look better un-naked...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
