No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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