dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
