I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
