some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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